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Le! (Smile!)

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öl är tydligen bra för mer än håret?!?

"A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. So that's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

upp och ner

An former friend of mine was married to a great gal; unfortunately, he had to put up with his wife's mother who was a very cranky and vituperous person. In the morning when my buddy got up to go to work, his mother-in-law would sneak around a hallway corner and hiss at him, "If you don't treat my daughter right when I die I'll dig up from the grave and haunt you!"

When the poor guy would stop in for lunch, his mother-in- law would blurt out while hiding behind a drape, "If you don't treat my daughter right when I die, I'll dig up from the grave and haunt you. Alas, in the evening while having a well-deserved cocktail, my friend's mother-in-law would pop up from behind the bar and say, "If you don't treat my daughter right when I die, I'll dig up from the grave and haunt you."

Well, I happened to bump into my buddy a month ago and while having a beer I asked him how his mother-in-law was feeling. He said, she isn't feeling anything; she died two months ago!" I quickly asked him if he was worried about her ominous threat? He said, "Hell, no! I buried her face down; let her dig; I don't care!"

i engelska är stavning viktigt

A male whale and a female whale were swimming just off the coast of Japan when they saw a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned and killed his father many years earlier. He told the female whale about the ship killing his father and, seeking revenge, said, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out our air holes at the same time. It should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They proceeded and, sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized that the sailors were swimming to the safety of shore. The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Quick! Let's swim after them, and gobble them up before they reach shore." At this point he realized that the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.


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